Drifting In Doubt
by anotherweasley
Summary: What if Claire wasn't the one injured in the car accident?


Drifting in Doubt  
By: Olivia  
  
Chapter 1  
"Out, out brief candle!/Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player/That struts and frets his hour  
upon the stage/And then is heard no more."-William Shakespeare-"Macbeth"  
  
Claire turned to look at Lennie. She was worried about him. She wanted to reassure him that  
everything would be okay, but she didn't know how. She just wanted to ease his pain.  
  
And that's when she saw the headlights beaming through on Lennie's open windown. There was  
no time to think or react as the car was plowed into and spun around by the force of the blow.  
  
When she came to a few seconds later, she couldn't see nor think very well. She put her hand to   
her forehead and felt something sticky. She was bleeding.  
  
Ignoring her throbbing head, she somehow managed to unclasp her seatbelt and get out of the  
car. She needed to see if Lennie was okay. She wanted to call out but her voice wouldn't work.   
She felt her way about the car stepping over pieces of metal and shattered glass. When she  
finally reached the passenger side, she leaned into the rolled down window to ascertain Lennie's  
condition. And that's when she began to cry.  
  
Chapter 2  
"News fitting to the night/Black, fearful, comfortless, horrible."-William Shakespeare-"King  
John"  
  
Jack just wanted the ringing to go away. He reached and reached until he was finally able to  
grasp the phone in his hand and pick up the receiver. He angrily wondered who was calling him  
at this late hour. He just wanted to sleep off his hangover. Was that too much to ask? And if it  
happened to be Claire, she'd better have a good explanation as to why she stood him up at the  
bar.  
  
"Hello?" Jack asked groggily.  
  
"Counselor, this is Lt. Van Buren."  
  
Jack tried to clear his head. He sat up and attempted to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He was in  
no condition, or mood for that matter, to deal with business. "I'm assuming this couldn't wait  
until morning."  
  
"There's been an accident," said Anita setting the mood.  
  
Jack stopped breathing for a few moments. Dear God, he thought, not Claire. Was that why she  
hadn't met him at the bar?  
  
"Claire?" Jack whispered.  
  
"Yes, but the good news is she's alright. She suffered minor cuts and is being treated at St.  
Joseph's."  
  
"What happened?" demanded Jack. He needed details.  
  
"It seems a drunk driver hit the car after running a stop sign. We have him in custody right now.   
He's not going any where. From what I could gather on the phone, Claire had gone looking for  
you at the bar, but when she got there she ran into...."  
  
"Lennie," Jack said solemnly finishing her sentence.   
  
"Yes," said Anita surprised.  
  
Jack explained. "We ran into each other there. I left soon afterwards." Jack could mentally see  
Anita nodding in understanding.  
  
"Any way, Claire ran into Lennie at the bar. She offered him a ride home. She was on her way  
to drop him off when the car hit them."  
  
"Lennie's okay, of course," Jack asked needing to be reassured.  
  
There was silence for a few moments. Jack could feel her trying to control her emotions. "The  
car impacted on Lennie's side, on the passenger side. I've been told that he has gone into  
emergency surgery. He's not expected to pull through."  
  
Jack's shoulder's slumped. This was the worst kind of news. He had gone from fear to relief to  
fear in a matter of moments. Fear, relief, and anger all mixed up into one. He was relieved that  
Claire was okay, fearful for Lennie, and angry at the drunk driver. He would make that drunk  
driver pay for this. He snapped back when he realized Anita was continuing to speak to him.  
  
"They were both taken to St. Joseph's. I finally got a hold of Rey and he's on his way but am  
unable to reach either of Lennie's daughters. I'm out the door right now."  
  
"I'll meet you there," said Jack. He hung up the phone and hurriedly got dressed. Time was  
ticking.  
  
Chapter 3  
"When days oppression is not eased by night,/But day by night and night by day oppressed."-  
William Shakespeare-"Sonnet 28"  
  
Rey rushed into the hospital elevator. What a horrible day it had been. First he had witnessed  
that man being executed. No matter how much he believed the man deserved to die, it had been  
earth shattering to watch someone be killed right before his eyes. He hadn't realized it at the  
time. Only now did Rey see the disastrous results.  
  
His thoughts unwillingly drifted back to the grad student he had met earlier today. His stomach  
ached. How could he explain his actions? There was something about her, something that  
reminded him of his college days, days before he had lost his innocent belief in the inherent  
goodness of mankind. He had been introduced to the hard realities of crime and murder. In a  
moment of weakness he had slept with that grad student and tried to erase the pain inside by  
forgetting who he was and what he had seen. He was ashamed of his weakness.  
  
Luckily, his wife, Debra, was unaware of his activities tonight. He told her work had been the  
reason she had been unable to reach him all day. She believed him. Of course, she believed him.   
Why wouldn't she believe him? And then he had told her that he had just gotten news about  
Lennie. He rushed to the hospital to see him, to see his partner. Would this elevator ever reach  
Lennie's floor, he wondered impatiently. He would have to deal with his extra-marital mistake  
later. Right now Lennie needed him and Rey needed to know that Lennie would be okay.  
  
The elevator finally reached the floor and Rey ran out into the corridor even before the elevator  
doors had opened all the way. He spied the nurses station and hurried to it.  
  
"I'm looking for Detective Lennie Briscoe. I was told he was brought here."  
  
Rey felt a hand on his arm. He turned around. "L.T., what's going on? How's he doing?" Rey  
felt sharp pains in his stomach. He feared Anita's response.  
  
Anita led him to a circle of chairs and sofas in a nearby waiting room. He then saw Jack sitting  
next to Claire. Jack had his arms around her. They had been talking softly, but stopped when  
they saw Rey.  
  
Rey could see that Claire had been crying hard recently. He could see the bandage taped across  
her forehead. Rey sat down in the chair across from them and Anita took a seat next to Rey.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Rey." Claire's voice was shaking.  
  
In Rey's year of working with Claire, this was the first time he could remember seeing her  
anything other than cooly in control. That frightened him. It spoke volumes of the seriousness  
of the situation.   
  
Rey observed her intently for a second. He could see the grief behind her eyes. And then it  
dawned on him. Claire blamed herself.  
  
Rey covered Claire's hands with his. "Hey, Claire, this isn't your fault. You have nothing to be  
sorry for. We'll get this drunk driver for doing this to you and Lennie." Rey looked directly at  
her. "I'm glad you're okay." Rey needed Claire to know that he would be just as upset if it was  
Claire undergoing surgery right now instead of Lennie.  
  
Claire simply nodded as one lone tear started to streak down her cheek. She understood Rey's  
message and was grateful for it. Claire brushed away the tear as Jack whispered something in  
her ear.  
  
The pit in Rey's stomach was getting deeper. He need to know how bad things really were. He  
turned to Anita.  
  
"He's gone into surgery. It doesn't look good. The drunk driver's car impacted on his side. It  
did a lot of damage," Anita said.  
  
Rey could see the worry in his L.T.'s face. From her Detectives she normally hide her worries  
well.  
  
"Have you been able to contact either of his daughters?" Rey asked.  
  
Anita shook her head.  
  
Rey covered his face with his hands. He had only been Lennie's partner for a year, but he would  
be grief stricken to lose Lennie. He knew Lennie hadn't thought too much of him at first.   
Lennie had still been angry about his last partner being demoted and transferred and being forced  
into a new partner. He had resented Rey. Rey in turn had let Lennie's past reputation cloud his  
judgement about his new partner. But they had come a long way since then. Rey's first  
impression of Lennie had been wrong. Lennie was a good detective and a good friend. He was a  
good partner and that said it all for Rey.  
  
"You know Lennie, Rey," said Anita. "If anything, he's stubborn. He's going to pull through."  
  
Rey looked up at Anita. "I hope so. I hope so."  
  
"So do I," Anita said so quietly even Rey did not hear her.  
  
Chapter 4  
"Where care lodges,/Sleep will never lie."-William Shakespeare-"Romeo & Juliet"  
  
"Excuse me, are you the family members of Lennie Briscoe."  
  
All of their heads shot up. When they saw it was a doctor, they sprang to their feet. They looked  
to the doctor for news. They were eager and fearful.  
  
"Yeah, Doc. How is he?" Rey asked the question that they all had being asking themselves  
internally for the last several hours.  
  
The doctor sensing their mood smiled at them. "It was touch and go for awhile, their was  
damage, but it's not a bad as it looked originally. The next 24 hours will be critical, but if he  
makes it past then, there should be no reason that he wouldn't make a full recovery. He should  
be just fine."  
  
A collective sigh of relief was let out. They hadn't even realized that they had been holding their  
breaths. Finally they had a reason to smile, to hope.  
  
"Doc, that's wonderful news. Thank you," said Rey shaking the doctor's hand enthusiastically.   
  
"Doctor, when can we see him?" asked Anita.  
  
"Well it would be unwise to disturb him too much right now. He needs rest and time to recover.   
He's heavily sedated right now, but if one of you would like to see him it should be okay. The  
rest can see him tomorrow."  
  
They all turned to look at one another. Who would it be? They were all anxious to see Lennie.   
They all wanted to make certain with their own eyes that he would be okay. They looked to Rey.   
He was afterall Lennie's partner. And Rey wanted to see Lennie badly. But Rey knew that  
someone else desperately need to see Lennie even more than he did.  
  
"Claire, if you would like to see Lennie, tonight, I can see him tomorrow."  
  
Rey could see in Claire's eyes that he had done the right thing. Claire smiled gratefully. The  
doctor motioned the way and she followed her.  
  
Chapter 5  
"So we grew together,/Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,/But yet a union in partition;/Two  
lovely berries molded on one stem."-William Shakespeare-"A Midsummer Night's Dream"  
  
Claire walked into the room and silently closed the door. Her eyes fixed on Lennie. She moved  
across the room and sat down in the chair beside his bed.  
  
She could hear the monitors and see their blinking lights out of the corner of her eye. She looked  
at Lennie's chest. It was slowly rising and falling, almost mechanically. It was the only sign of  
life.  
  
Claire could feel the tears welling in her eyes threatening to spill over. She felt so guilty.   
Mentally, she knew it wasn't her fault that a drunk driver had run a stop sign and crashed into her  
car. She couldn't have prevented or foreseen this happening.   
  
But her heart still kept telling her she was guilty. Lennie was her friend. She had offered him a  
ride home. He trusted her to get him there safely and she had let him down. And even deeper in  
her heart she thought that this could have been her. Why had she been spared?  
  
Lennie had said while they had been driving that she could have been his daughter. She smiled  
sadly at that. She had never thought of it before, but Lennie had been sorta like a father to her.   
  
When she first started working in the DA's office he sort of took her under his wing. Claire had  
been so green, fresh out of law school. As the ADA, she spent the most time out of anyone in the  
DA's office coordinating with the police during their investigations. Lennie had showed her how  
homicide investigations were run. She had spent many hours with Lennie, pouring over  
investigative material trying to gather evidence, getting search warrants, accompanying him to  
arrest suspects, and more. She had learned much from Lennie.  
  
And the truth was she liked Lennie. Not to get her wrong, Claire knew Lennie was no angel, but  
he was a good person. No matter what, Lennie's heart was always in the right place. Of all the  
things she thought she would miss about Lennie if he were gone, it would be his sense of humor.  
  
Claire reached out and clasped Lennie's hand.   
  
"Hi, Lennie. It's Claire." Claire's voice shook with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Lennie. It's the  
only thing I can say. They caught the man who hit us. He was drunk of all things."  
  
"The weird thing is, I was looking for you today. I stopped into the 2-7, but you had taken the  
day off. And then I found you at the bar when I was looking for Jack."  
  
"All day I've spent walking around talking to people about the execution we saw. I'm against  
the death penalty and seeing the execution, well, it was just too much for me to handle. I wanted  
to see you and talk with you. I wanted you to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay.   
You see death practically every day of your life. I hardly ever see the people who we are trying  
to get justice for. I figured your experience could help me. I lost faith yesterday in my job and  
in my actions. I was planning on leaving the DA's office. That's what Jack and I had been  
fighting about."  
  
"But instead of finding you at the 2-7, I wound up talking to the Lieutenant. And you know what  
she told me? She told me what we do, deciding the fate of people's lives, is scary business. I  
told her the wheels of justice keep grinding people up. That's when she told me that despite that,  
we are still here."  
  
"She was right, Lennie," Claire said wiping the tears away from her face. She hadn't realized she  
had been crying. "I love all of you-Jack, Adam, Anita, Rey, and you. I love the law. I love  
helping people and bringing criminals to justice. After talking to Anita, I had decided to stay in  
the DA's office. I was going to the bar to tell Jack I was staying."  
  
"Tonight in the car, I never knew how much I meant to you and that you thought of me like a  
daughter. You've been like a father to me. I went looking to you for guidance today, and when I  
found you at the bar, I saw you were as affected by that man's death as I was."  
  
"So I want you, I need you to know, that I am here and that we are all here for you. Please don't  
give up. Please fight."  
  
The tears continued to stream down Claire's face hitting her hand that was clasped to Lennie's.   
She place on of her hands into Lennie's hand. That was when she felt Lennie's squeeze her  
hand.  
  
Startled, Claire's head flew up and her eyes search Lennie's face for any sign of consciousness.   
His eyes flittered for a bit and then crack open slowly. He painfully turned his head towards  
Claire.  
  
Claire could see in his eyes that he was heavily drugged, but she could see recognition of who  
she was. Claire felt hope rising inside her. Lennie's lips started to move slowly, but Claire could  
hear nothing. Anxiously, she leaned over, her ear to Lennie's lips.  
  
In a whisper, Lennie said, "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."  
  
Claire leaned back smiling though her tears. Lennie closed his eyes and drifted back into his  
drug induced sleep with a slight smile still left on his face. At that moment, Claire knew that  
everything would be fine. Lennie would recover and things would continue as they had before.   
He would catch the criminals and she would prosecute them. They made a good team, her and  
him, and Adam, Jack, Anita, and Rey. If there was one thing she knew it was that if Lennie still  
had his sense of humor, some how, everything would still be okay.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
